I absolutely hated the movie – He’s just not that into you. I thought it was a bit slow and made women look like idiots but I did scan read the book and it made sense, even more so now. On reflection maybe I should have read it cover to cover!
Following a recent romantic situation where I completely followed my heart and ignored my head – I started to think about why we as single women are so full of excuses for men that aren’t really that into us?
My single girlfriends and I are smart women with good jobs and rational minds, yet give us a man we really like and we will excuse their bad behaviour like we know nothing about anything! Why?!
My recent romantic situation should have ended about 6 weeks after it started; despite knowing deep down that ‘he wasnt that into me’ (or certainly not enough to sustain anything lovely) I managed to drag it out for at least another 10 weeks after that. The signs were as clear as can be – he stopped calling after initially calling all the time, flirting had reduced to a minimum and the classic ‘I am just really busy to call/see you’ line came in to play. Yes, he was genuinely busy but he was busy before – this was ‘he’s just not that in to you’ kind of busy.
If they are too busy for you it really is game over – if men like us – they call us, they text us and most importantly they want to see us and they WILL make it happen! It sounds obvious I know.
Recent romance guy messaged every day for weeks and called me for chats whenever he wanted – on his nights out with friends, when waking in the morning, on his work breaks – because he wanted to. The minute he didn’t want to, he became too ‘busy’ and that was my moment to get the message, to walk away with my dignity in tact. But of course I made my excuses and hung on, just in case my gut feeling was wrong.
GBF Griff made an amusing yet scary comment to me “I draw the line at when you start writing to a man on death row and say to me – he’s alright really.” Ha! And that’s the thing, where do we draw the line? What would it have taken for me to have given up my rose-coloured glasses on recent romance guy if he hadn’t brought it to an end.
How long were his initial charming and lovely words going to stay in my head and be what clouded the fact that now he just wasnt that into me? I was clinging on to memories of the first 6 weeks like they were a prize about to be taken away from me, when what I should have been doing was giving up the prize for a more fun one.
I think ultimately what it comes down to is the horrid feeling of disappointment; you’re having a great time then all of a sudden ‘he’s just not that into you’. We want to believe that someone we have invested time and feelings on are totally in to us too, hence why we cling on to hope.
I feel the lesson here is to let go of HOPE but have FAITH in the fact that we are fabulous women that deserve someone who is massively in to us and if they’re not, then be strong enough to let them go.