What dating game?

What is it about men and their complete lack of dating skills and interest in wooing a girl these days? Is it us? Are we not demanding enough from a man? Have we become nonchalant about it all  just in case we get disappointed? Do men have too much else to occupy them now, making girls less of a priority?
I was starting to think it was just me, and I was meeting the wrong kind of guys. I haven’t been on a proper date since 2007, when a nice young 21 year old took it upon himself to take me out. Yes, I know very young, but clearly more mature than any of the other beings I have had the misfortune to meet since.

Let’s take, for example the last guy i was kind of seeing, even before it became apparent it wasn’t to be the romance of the century, he has NEVER in 4 years asked me out anywhere; not to a pub, a cafe, a restaurant, not even a trip to the local off licence!? Instead, he expects me to sit around his house and feel (for 80 percent of the time) like a 17 year old at my first boyfriends place, as opposed to a 30 something woman in her alleged prime! Maybe my fault for allowing it, but when presented with no other option, sometimes we just go with these things.

Example number 2: Photo guy – quite happy to want to send photos of himself to me and send silly texts but no intention of ever asking me on a date.

Example number 3: my single gal pal J – meets a guy, has a couple of dates with him; he then becomes ‘the text guy’. Never mentioning another date but checking in via text weekly? Why even bother?

Last but not least: My slightly older friend has 3 men messaging her – some saucy some sweet, but not one of the 3 have asked her anywhere but to their house. The others being perfectly happy to talk on phone for hours or text.Even the older men have given up trying; and these are single men I’m referring to, not married or players, available men. I have more examples but the list would go on forever.

According to this months Glamour magazine, the Office For National Statistics say that there are 30 million men in the UK and 7 million of them are single. (Only 1.65 million are aged between 30-39, Eek!) Are we just left with the 7 million lazy ones? The ones that cant be bothered?  What’s a girl to do?  Is chivalry really dead?  Should we all be moving to New York?  At least we could actually guarantee an outing of some sort there, as they do have quite strong dating traditions.

Even my 20 something friends are resorting to face booking guys rather than meeting up with them; waiting for Twitter banter rather than a phone call asking them out. Have our expectations of a man become so small?  As well as for myself, I feel outraged on their behalf; these are gorgeous, fun and interesting girls. Why are we not being snapped up, wined and dined and charmed? It seems we are literally drowning in charmless men.

GBF goes on regular dates – lovely little cinema trips and strolls along the South Bank. It seems the gay guys are doing it right at least.  As for the straight men, they need to follow suit quickly or we will all be booking one way tickets to NYC! 



  1. June 22, 2011 / 4:33 pm

    As a single straight man, I decided to make more of an effort and established http://www.challengeten.com detailing ten personal challenges including 50 blind dates in little over a year!I'm looking forward to date 26 tomorrow evening! Some of us are prepared to make the effort!Breifne

  2. June 24, 2011 / 8:21 am

    I noticed the same thing. It is a worldwide problem.Up to about 2001, men actually asked me out places and went on real dates. Now? They text and then expect you to come over to their house where you hang out. I sometimes suspect they are just waiting for me to throw myself at them so they get easy sex as well.Speaking of which, it seems a lot of guys expect sex from women with no effort on their part put into the whole affair. No dating, no developing any bond, not entering a relationship. Then they get a bit angry at times when you do not comply because, well, you are looking for more than a hook-up.It is like they expect instant everything these days and maybe it is connected to the insatntness in technology? Just something I wonder about.I would love to go on a real date, get to know the guy, actually have time to fall for him (and him me) but it is so rare these days. I miss dating and am not into the whole rush or distance (like you mentioned with the keeping it to text and Facebook) that guys do these days.

  3. July 25, 2011 / 10:54 am

    You've hit the nail on the head with this one :/I've definitely noticed this. All my single friends have noticed it and a fair few of my friends in relationships have noticed it too.It seems that men only want to sit at home most of the time. And I have nothing against snuggling up on the sofa with a pizza and a good film every now and then, but it would be nice to be taken out.I like to think it's the 'credit crunch' and that guys are just too poor to take anybody out, but I don't mind paying my own way.. but sometimes the even expect me to pay for them since I was the one to suggest the date.It seems that guys have no interest in spending time, affection or money on a girl when they can go to a club and pick up anyone for free.It's sad but it seems to be the way things are recently :(

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